Trying Harder Isn’t Always the Answer to Connection
Have You Ever Felt Disconnected, Despite Doing Everything Right?
For many people, the journey to mental well-being isn’t about managing out-of-control emotions—it’s about struggling with too much control. If you’ve ever felt like no matter how hard you try, deep social connection remains elusive, you’re not alone. Traditional therapy often focuses on regulating strong emotions, but what if your challenge is the opposite?
That’s why we started Radically Open Connections—to offer a different approach, one specifically designed for individuals who struggle with excessive self-control, perfectionism, and social isolation.
Why We Started Radically Open Connections
I’ve always been someone who prided myself on discipline, perseverance, and striving to meet high expectations. But over time, I began to realize that these strengths came with a cost. I struggled with perfectionism, depression, and an underlying sense of emotional loneliness—even when surrounded by people who cared about me. My ability to push through challenges, and to be self-sufficient kept me from truly connecting with others in a meaningful way.
Discovering Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT) changed my life. Not only have I witnessed firsthand how this treatment has transformed the lives of several Veterans I’ve worked with, but it has also profoundly impacted my own journey. Although my work is far from done, I am learning to recognize what I’m feeling, to voice those emotions to trusted others, and—perhaps the hardest part—to express them outwardly. RO-DBT has given me a framework to move toward genuine connection, and that’s why I’m passionate about sharing it with others.
Many highly conscientious, detail-oriented, and disciplined individuals find that standard treatments don’t fully address their challenges. While cognitive-behavioral and traditional dialectical behavior therapies (DBT) are effective for many, research shows that a significant percentage of people with overcontrolled coping styles do not find relief in standard treatment models. This gap is why researchers have explored alternative approaches, such as RO-DBT. For example, a study published in 2020 found that Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT) led to significantly greater improvements in depression symptoms after seven months compared to treatment as usual, with a large effect size of 1.03. Additionally, RO-DBT has been shown to be highly effective in treating chronic forms of depression, with rates of full recovery reported as high as 71% in some studies.
“A significant percentage of people with overcontrolled coping styles do not find relief in standard treatment models. ”
RO-DBT provides an evidence-based approach specifically designed for these individuals.
What Is RO-DBT?
Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT) is a treatment developed by Dr. Thomas Lynch that focuses on the challenges of excessive self-control. Unlike traditional DBT, which is geared toward emotional dysregulation, RO-DBT helps people who struggle with social connection, flexibility, and openness—traits commonly seen in individuals with chronic depression, anxiety disorders, autism spectrum traits, and anorexia nervosa.
Rather than teaching emotional restraint, RO-DBT encourages social openness, emotional expressiveness, and the ability to take healthy risks in relationships. Research has shown that these skills are key to fostering deep, meaningful connections.
Who Can Benefit from RO-DBT?
RO-DBT is especially helpful for individuals who:
Feel socially isolated despite wanting connection
Struggle with perfectionism, rigidity, or excessive self-control
Have difficulty expressing emotions or trusting others
Find that traditional therapy approaches haven’t worked for them
Experience chronic depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive tendencies
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many people who are highly conscientious and successful in their careers or personal goals still find it difficult to relax, connect, and feel emotionally fulfilled. RO-DBT provides the missing piece.
What’s Next?
At Radically Open Connections, we’re dedicated to helping individuals build the skills necessary for meaningful relationships and a more fulfilling life. Over the next few months, we’ll be sharing blog posts about:
The science behind RO-DBT and how it differs from traditional therapy
The role of social signaling in connection and well-being
Practical strategies for increasing openness and flexibility
Healing and playfulness
We invite you to follow along as we explore these topics. Visit our website to learn how RO-DBT can help you or someone you know. Connection starts here.
Works Cited
Gilbert, K., Hall, K., & Codd, R. T. (2020). Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Social Signaling, Transdiagnostic Utility and Current Evidence. Psychology research and behavior management, 13, 19–28. https://doi.org/10.2147/PRBM.S201848
Lynch, T. R., Hempel, R. J., Whalley, B., Byford, S., Chamba, R., Clarke, P., Clarke, S., Kingdon, D. G., O'Mahen, H., Remington, B., Rushbrook, S. C., Shearer, J., Stanton, M., Swales, M., Watkins, A., & Russell, I. T. (2020). Refractory depression - mechanisms and efficacy of radically open dialectical behaviour therapy (RefraMED): findings of a randomised trial on benefits and harms. The British journal of psychiatry : the journal of mental science, 216(4), 204–212. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.2019.53
